A Conversation With Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Oprah Winfrey and Richard Branson
…on Failure, Relationships and Lessons From Life
How did you overcome your fear of failure?
I think I was very lucky that when I was in high school, the computer was brought in there and I developed a fascination for it and became kind of fanatical about it so that I didn’t view it as risky, I viewed it as this kind of hobby. But I think it’s great to be risk taking, particularly when you’re young, trying out different things, fields that aren’t very popular that you might enjoy. – Bill Gates
Don’t fear failure. I got turned down by Harvard. It was the best thing that ever happened. There are some good things that happened that didn’t seem good at the time. Don’t worry about it. And don’t let it eat at you by looking back. Just keep going, because you’re going to have some things and forget them. Go forward. – Warren Buffett
It doesn’t matter how far you might rise, at one point you are bound to stumble. If you are constantly doing what we do; raising the bar, if you are constantly pushing yourself higher, you will at some point fall. And when you do, remember this, There is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction. – Oprah Winfrey
When I look back on past business endeavours, it’s the moments that didn’t go to plan that taught me the most. Nobody gets everything right the first time, it’s how we learn from our mistakes that defines us. At the end of the day, as long as you learn from your mistakes, you’re not really failing at all. – Richard Branson
Are there any major life lessons that you have learned about relationships through your personal experiences?
Some friends do bring out the best in you and so it’s good to invest in those friendships. And some friends challenge you about things you’re doing and that level of intimacy is great. It’s really through Melinda and seeing other people I realized, okay, it’s really worth the investment to have those people, as you’re always there to help them and vice versa. – Bill Gates
You will move in the direction of the people that you associate with. So it’s important to associate with people that are better than yourself and actually the most important decision many of you will make, not all of you, will be the spouse you choose. And you really—you want to associate with people who are the kind of person you’d like to be. You’ll move in that direction. And the most important person by far in that respect is your spouse. I can’t overemphasize how important that is. And you’re right, the friends you have, they will form you as you go through life and make some good friends, keep them for the rest of your life, but have them be people that you admire as well as like. – Warren Buffett
My big light bulb moment on relationships came the first time I talked with marriage therapist Harville Hendrix. He introduced me to his Imago Theory – in essence, he says it’s not a coincidence that you’ve attracted your partner; that person is there to help you do the work of recovering from old wounds. That show changed me. I saw relationships not solely as the kind of romantic pursuit our society celebrates but as a spiritual partnership that’s meant to change how you see yourself and the world. As my friend Maya Angelou often told me, “When you know better, you do better.” – Oprah Winfrey
All relationships need to be nurtured, whether they’re with your business colleagues or your family and friends. I’ve learnt this skill in the best possible way from my wife, Joan, who has been my partner for 40 years. We’ve taught each other to be honest and frank when we communicate, to give each other space, and to listen closely when there are things that we could do to make each other happier. Maintain good lines of communication; be willing to listen to other people’s points of view; and don’t forget that, ultimately, you need to be comfortable with your decisions. – Richard Branson
